yeah, i got to come back here more often cause no one reads my facebook page posts anyways.
I should be sleeping, but all i can do is stand here focus on being productive and not think about the pain of my heart day by day, and yet, i can't stop relapsing the hurt i have to endure and force the pain inside me to pretend nothing happened to me or that i survive. and despite that all. i have to act like i'm able to live with this, and everything that surrounds me is contemplating of emotion that i can't just set aside. i just want this to go away every time i let down, i want this pain to go away when i have to deal with the lies, and the times i've been used and the times ive been taken advantaged of like everyone else and just smile and tough it out. and i can't. i see everyone progress in emotion and i can't do the same but i progress in everything else. why? why does i get blessed with everything else in favor but the one thing i desire more is never fulfilled? even when im focused on other things the temptation comes back around on me and then again after again i get the pain and anger. it's like i was born with an emotional defect that drives away the attraction.
*Jurai or Die*
