over my years being a survivor of mental and emotional suffering, i've noticed i've been able to at least reach out to some people, even minimal in time when it comes to relatable things.
and massive emotional breakdowns.
the fact im able to talk and still function at times like alot of people i this world should stand as a testament to people who like me were unfourtunate at times.ive known people like myself to not be able to survive, or even be able to function, to the point total shutdown is the last resort.
today two of my friends are dealing with that factor right now. while i truly care for them, i can't do anything to make them realize they have potential nor tell them that thigns will get better.
as someone who's heard these things, i can't lie to them that it will get better. cause sometimes it wont.
think about it.
honesty, be it brutal, openly, or lightly has become a bigger use in the society today, to a point even celebrites use it. while its not considered a trend, it's becomeing a effection that is being more considered a quality, wheiter it's loyalty or even a relationship.
if anything i learned to let people who are in a situation to a point they ignore you or not respond due to thier own feelings is to let them deal with their own demons. you can't be a savior to everyone, at the same time, it shouldn't mean you should give up on them. it's only because it's a frustrating moment for them.
i can't say or do anything to tell them they will be okay, but i will say to them that my unconditional love and support and concern for them will never die. becuase they would do the same for me.
last year, i cried in a parking lot accross the street in the dead of night on a video because i felt there was nothing left to do. i had run out of options. i felt i was done. no more. ive been where they went. every person who's either dealt with emotional heartbreak, every self inflicted person, every person who's tried committed suciede. who was bullied because they were different. yet i have to force myself to rememeber one thing.
i am still here.
i haven't yet left.
something is telling me stay. to help.
to tell another person who's dealt with what i dealt with to hold on alittle longer.
to release their stress and tension,.
to cry alittle if it helps ease their pain.
to make hug out your problems.
to take your anger out on something more useful.
to do whatever it takes to not harm yourself and feel useless.
cause we all have been that way in some point in time.
and i was the one who felt it alot more than people.
bullied. insulted. told was wierd. creepy, stupid. dumbass,.
you all (especially my high school peers) have been witness to it all. and yet while i try to either fix my own problems or comfort someone else's, i never forgot where i started.
and that is the real reason i'm still alive.
because that little creepy nerd from high school wouldn't have made it.
but the man who grew from him did.
and if i can survive this destructive world,
then by hell the people i love can too.
*Jurai Or Die*