It's hard to not think of her everyday.
to not say in a admiration or a thought of someone who knows your moves and yet knows only so little of you
when you know what they day in day, time, night, hour, week, or even at work, school, or even vacation.
obsession isn't what i'm taking action upon,
interest is what i'm trying to explain.
she wants attention, yet it seems like it's too much a stretch to know what she's
dreaming of, what she thinks about.
you want to text her, yet you can't over do it.
you don't try to conversate everyday, yet you want to wish her good morning,
good night, "you're beautiful as you always were everyday i know your existence."
everyday you know every action you take,
you have a scenario you want to put her into it.
woman crush wednesdays don't do justice to how much you want
people to know of her existence.
you want to tell people of you heart beats for her everyday.
you want to make action plans that will include her in the future or even
it's bad enough you wonder who else thinks of her
the same way.
you see photos of her with male friends
one half of you remembers she has more connection with your gender
the other hates the fact these men have the
same opportunities as you into capturing her heart.
you want her to be not some fairy tale,
not some children's nursery story,
not some romantic comedy,
you want realism.
you want a moment to be with her and she gets mad at you because you overreact
even when you do something that doesn't pertain to both of you.
you want a moment when she finds the stupidest thing you do
enough to make her laugh.
you want a moment when anything you achieve
she feels like you deserve in some way and you can tell her," you made this possible for me, because you
believed in me."
you want a moment where you can just be fucking happy you get to hold her hand or she grabs your arm. and you walk side to side and not speak a word and
even have a moment to look at each others eyes.
no words needed.
beyond a mentions
beyond the shout out.
beyond the subliminal messages
and beyond the snapchats.
JUST. TO BE. WITH. HER.
for a woman i am thinking of tonight while listening to this song.
Pardon my Bluntness.
(poem by me.)
*jurai or die*